Once upon a time, there was a rug. That doesn't sound too exciting, now does it? Well, said rug was really, really ugly. Infact, it fell out of the ugly tree and hit every gol-darned branch on the way down. This rug lived in a pond. I know rugs usually don't live in ponds, but all kinds of wonky things happen in fary tales, so bear with me. Did I mention that the elves sued the shoemaker? Ok, now back to the rug. All the other rugs made fun of it as it swam in the pond... What? Yes, yes, other rugs lived in this pond, that's why it was called "Floorcovering Pond". It's all apartments now... Don't worry about the rugs, they're in the apartments. What was I saying? Oh, yes, the rug... This rug was made fun of by all the other rugs for being ugly. Which was true, but the more attractive rugs were very tactless and had to point it out. So the ugly rug just lied across a rock in the way rugs are so very good at doing and watched the nice and average-looking rugs as they frolicked and played... Yes, rugs frolic! Just when you're not looking! The belief that rugs just lie there like, well, rugs, is what they want you to think. It's a conspiracy! Like how the king and queen filled the matress with dried peas because they thought the princess was a boob and didn't want the prince to marry her... The rug? What about it? Oh... The rug just sat there and watched the non-hideous rugs have all their rug-like fun. Only one day, things changed... The rug woke up to find that it had become a beautiful swan! This confused the former rug very much, but it wasn't about to question it's good, if outlandish, luck. Then it found the other rugs, and pecked them with it's sharp beak. They were sorry they ever called the rug ugly.
(Even if it really, really was.)

THE END